(ANWEN enters, sits on the bed and begins to read the letter CHARLOTTE has left there, first removing it from an envelope. She is plainly dressed but wears a venetian mask that obscures her face from her hairline down to the end of her nose. There is angry red scarring and markings extending from where her mask ends, down to her neck and across her collarbone. After reading the letter for a few moments she begins to look angry and clutches the paper convulsively in her hands before storming from the bed to the front of the stage and brandishing it as she speaks directly to the audience.)
ANWEN: For the record, this is the most patronizing, self indulgent crap I have ever read! Sweetheart, sweetheart, sweetheart, SWEETHEART! Fucking...sweetheart. (She screws up the letter and screams in a frustrated rage, walking over to the edge of the bed and sliding to the floor, burying her her head on her knees which she tucks up to her chest. She breathes deeply, attempting to compose herself, trying not to cry and looks up again with a bitter smile.) There are lots of names for girls like her but none of them are sweetheart (laughs mirthlessly before standing up and picking up the letter, sitting on the bed and smoothing it out onto her knees.) I knew girls like this... but I wasn't ever really one of them, not even before. Not ugly, not at all, in any way, I mean I'd give anything... But just not an object of romance, not some great mystery to be solved and, "enjoyed" (she laughs nervously)...not a girl that could save your life. I watch a lot of films. Girls are supposed to save lives, that is their function, they're supposed to find you, know you, love you, fill you with confidence- save you. It helps if they're beautiful but...but. They have to look human. Their face can't be a sick, twisted version of what a person's face should look like and not because men insist upon it, even though most of them do, but because we can't, we can't accept it, we can't see it in our heads when we think of how it's supposed to be, we. Us. Me. Can't visualise that without disgust, can't look into the mirror and see that. Films use recycled quotes they think sound meaningful. This film has culture. One once, that I heard it said, "A Beautiful woman, seeing herself in the mirror, knows "This is I." An ugly woman knows, with equal certainty, "This is not I". There are other people like this. Freaks maybe. And I know that's wrong but that's what they are and I'm not one of them.
(She begins to turn the letter in her hands and attempts a cold, detached expression and tone of voice as she begins to speak)
Okay then, concisely. It was a fire, at college, in a lab. I liked chemistry, it was a chemical fire. Yes, it is disgusting, yes it hurt like hell and sometimes it still does and yes, surgery has done all it can for me. No, I am not taking the mask off. The thing is, with girls like this (angrily brandishing the letter), I have so much (waves her hands ineffectually in an attempt to convey her meaning)...it's like that scene in "Ghost" when the ghosts all jump into Whoopi Goldberg's body to use it... because they could do so much more with that body. Like it's just a toy or something, that the naughty children don't deserve. Maybe, maybe I'm not innocent anymore. Maybe that's why I'm so disgusted with myself... (laughs in a harsh and bitter manner) or maybe it's because my face looks like a lasagne with the top layers bubbling up and I really hope sometimes I put people off their food. My Mum doesn't burn things anymore I noticed, not even toast. She is extra careful, just for me. Cover the mirrors, watch the bacon and maybe she'll forget.
(ANWEN is looking more and more restless. She stands up, paces for a while, turning the letter in her hands and running her fingers through her hair. She sits back down, stands up and sits down again.)
I can't... (with an increasing air of desperation) I can't be remembered for writing Hamlet, or, or discovering Penicillin because someone got there before me and that's just always the way. (She sighs and runs her fingers through her hair) I took my exams. From home, everyone, the family friends, the relatives, the doctors... they said things like, "you're such a smart girl, something good will come of this". I had friends before, I did but I didn't want them afterwards, ( slightly angrily) it wasn't anything else, I just didn't want them. So. I worked. Really hard, I revised so much, I didn't have anything else, there wasn't really anything else to me. Spider diagrams on my wall, timetables, breaks for lunch, cups of tea at my desk, mock papers that went so well.
I think... I think they were all imagining this sucess story. "Girl disfigured in tragic accident acheives fantastic A level results". All just ignoring the fact that by that time I hadn't really left the house in a year... probably whispering behind my back that it was just a phase I was going through, I'd change when I had to go to university. University... I thought that too. Just a phase. University... I don't know if I believe this! (Waves the letter again before reading it aloud), "Can't you imagine me at university sweetheart?". Maybe she... I mean maybe she's not even that clever at all? (Laughing mirthlessly) Maybe, maybe she's disgusting and stupid and she looks just like me and she failed her exams the way I did.
That was the worst day of my life, not this (gestures to her face). I got the same results as... as people I would class as, just not like me, not as clever as me. Maybe not stupid but not hard workers, not exceptional. It's like beauty, you never see yourself as a person with those results, you never see yourself as a stupid person. Maybe some people do, I never did. And... I mean, no friends then, so not popular or nice, and far too late to make an effort with my appearance (laughs). The worst day was losing all I had left.
(PETER, who is dressed in black, enters towards the end of this speech. He attempts to creep around quietly, looking at his surroundings but not apparantly noticing ANWEN who doesn't notice him in turn.)
ANWEN: The best day was- (PETER picks up a clock and then interrupts her by stubbing his toe on the desk. As he does the lighting changes, illuminating the whole stage as opposed to just the area where ANWEN sits. She stands up abruptly as the lighting changes.)
PETER: Ohh shit!
ANWEN: (She grins ecstatically, the pride and happiness rings from her voice as she speaks aside to the audience) This was the best day. It sounds so stupid, so untrue, so insane. I meant to be scared and scream or something, I meant to do that. He was just too... apologetic.
PETER: I am so sorry, God, sorry, I. I'm, I'm going I...I didn't mean to scare you I'm so sorry.
ANWEN: (Aside to the audience) And that made him the monster, the intruder, the scary one. He was disgusting, not me, and he knew it...so... (She speaks directly to PETER in flashback) Um... would you... I mean, would you like a cup of tea? I was putting the kettle on anyway.
PETER: (Looking shocked)I... what?
ANWEN: And a hobnob, we have lots of hobnobs.
PETER: I... I like hobnobs.
ANWEN: I don't, but they were buy one get one free so my Mum got lots. She doesn't eat them either so... I mean, I'd understand if we ate them but when no-one does... it's not really a saving is it?
PETER: I suppose not.
ANWEN: You'll have a cup of tea and a hobnob then?
PETER: If it'll help...get rid of them.
ANWEN: It will.
(There is a silence as the two stare at each other, taking in the details of each other's odd appearances, both looking uneasy and embarrassed.)
PETER: Your Mum...
ANWEN: She's not here. Visiting my Grandma.
PETER: I'm so sorry if I... I didn't mean to scare you, I won't, I mean I didn't come to-
ANWEN: (Interrupting and moving closer to PETER) What are you doing with the clock?
PETER: (Looking at the clock still in his hands) I was trying to... steal it.
ANWEN: Oh.
PETER: Sorry.
ANWEN: No... that's okay... It was £1.99 from poundstretchers I think. You do know we have a tele... and a DVD player and things through there?
PETER: (With a worried expression and tone) You shouldn't tell people who've broken into your house things like that.
ANWEN: Why, are you going to steal them?
PETER: Well no... but I might, if I was someone else maybe.
ANWEN: Who are you?
PETER: (After a slight pause) Peter.
ANWEN: I'm Anwen.
PETER: That's nice.
ANWEN: I think so.
PETER: Do you know what it means?
ANWEN: No.
PETER: My sister knows all of the names, what they all mean.
ANWEN: What does yours mean?
PETER: "Stone" she said.
ANWEN: Stone...
PETER: Yes.
ANWEN: Solid.
PETER: Maybe.(There is an awkward pause when both PETER and ANWEN stare at the floor.) I'm really sorry about your clock... and everything, I'm... just...
ANWEN: (Tucking her hair behind her ears and fiddling with her mask.) It's okay.
(ANWEN and PETER move closer to each other as the lighting begins to fade, eventually blacking out the stage and ending the scene.)













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